Boy, am I glad that’s over.
Not that LSU’s roller-coaster of a football season wasn’t fun, but, honestly, it really feels good to move on, doesn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong. I was thrilled as the Tigers tore through ranked opponent after ranked opponent. It looked like LSU would overcome all of the drama of Steve Kragthorpe’s tragic preseason medical diagnosis, of curb-stomping Marines at Shady’s Bar, of players smoking artificial turf, and of quarterback controversies.
Then came the disaster that was the BCS National Championship Game when it all dumped on the Tigers’ heads like a crimson sludge.
But, I’m sure you’ve heard enough about that.
I’m here with the good news. LSU is going to be fine. The Tigers are armpit-deep in talent, even considering the early departures to the NFL. The offense, which next year will be led by an actual, real-life quarterback, will be much improved while the defense looks as formidable as ever.
And, I’m happy to say, some of the team’s biggest problems won’t be back. Most importantly, the team’s biggest knuckleheads, Jordan Jefferson and Jarrett Lee, are gone pecans.
Sure, they’re really the only two quarterbacks on the roster with game experience (not counting Zach Mettenberger’s garbage time against Ole Miss), but tell me what LSU is really going to miss from these two jokers?
In Jordan Jefferson, the Tigers are jettisoning a quarterback who is athletically talented but pathologically indecisive (leading to his patented triple-pump fake, run for two yards move…not quite as catchy as the “Discount Double Check” to be sure), hopelessly clueless against any sort of defensive voodoo (once you take away his first pass option, he’s a lost puppy), and criminally immature (Shady’s Bar, anyone?).
A caveat: please don’t buy into all the rumors that Jefferson was out partying at Harrah’s until 4 a.m. the night before the big game and blah, blah, blah. Believe me, if an LSU fan, and I’m sure there were plenty around, saw Jordan Jefferson at the time and place Jefferson was alleged to be, his picture would be on the front page of every newspaper and sports website in America. As there is no such photo, and none appeared in the days after the BCS debacle, I would advise you not to believe the hype.
However, one needs only judge his maturity level by his reaction to his interception against Alabama in the BCS title game. I literally stopped watching the game after that play. I couldn’t see anymore. To sit there and blame Spencer Ware, one of the best running backs in the SEC, for blocking downfield instead of reading your pea brain and turning around to catch an impromptu shovel pass was the pinnacle of Jefferson’s knuckleheadedness.
I don’t think any quarterback has been so universally hated in this state since former Saints joke Aaron Brooks (not that he cares…is that a smile I see?). It’s been since Josh Booty (and his infamous audible to a made-up play against mighty Alabama-Birmingham) that an LSU quarterback has engendered so much vitriol. Destrehan should be so proud.
And good riddance to Jarrett Lee, too. The man who single-handedly changed the state’s official motto from “Union, Justice, Confidence” to “Put Lee In” (and, for one abysmal year, “Take Lee Out”) is now free to join the Arena Football League team of his choosing. No more whiny-baby act on the sidelines, sulking at the far end of the bench like a five-year old while daddy calls up whoever will listen to complain about his wittle boy’s playing time. Did Lee lead the team to an 8-0 start this year? Yes. Was it unfair that Lee got the hook in favor of Jefferson? Of course. But be a leader, be a man. Suck it up and help your team or get out.
Speaking of daddy issues, good riddance also to T-Bob Hebert and his village idiot father, one former New Orleans Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert.
T-Bob’s sole career contribution of note was snapping the ball before Tennessee could get their 42 some-odd players off the field in their 2010 meeting. Meanwhile, his main on-field contributions were drawing penalties, temper tantrums (like throwing his helmet), and being flattened by superior defensive linemen. Nevertheless, ole’ Bobby got a case of “le derrière rouge” after the coaching staff benched little Bobby Joseph III and, after the Tigers’ atrocious BCS performance, decided to confront Miles in the post-game press conference.
Ostensibly, Bobby’s screed, using the stupid jock logic that “he played pro football for 15 years,” was about whether Lee should have played instead of Jefferson. Fair enough, lots of LSU fans were asking themselves the same question. But, are you seriously telling me that was his only reason for calling Miles out in front of a horde of real-life professional reporters?
No, I think Hebert was simply in a position, working as a talking head for WWL, to embarrass Miles in front of a national audience over his staff’s treatment of poor T-Bob.
In any case, fare thee well, losers.
You are gone and Miles is still coach. LSU looks like it will just reload and is the preseason favorite next year.
And the good news is, without you guys, next year’s run at the championship looks to be a straight shot instead of a carnival ride.
Brandon Shoumaker is a graduate of McNeese State University and has covered sports for more than a decade for various publications. Coaches or parents with story tips or comments may contact Brandon at email@example.com or send him a message on Twitter (@bshoumaker).